I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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