Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
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