dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
