he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
