exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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