Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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