I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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