It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
where does the pee come out of this thing
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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