I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
