i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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