Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
