So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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