i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize
