I hate all girls vehemently.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Randomize
