I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Where is the hickey?
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
