I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
