what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Randomize
