u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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