They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
me + whiskey = a bad person
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Randomize
