new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
