What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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