i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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