there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
