is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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