Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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