It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize