Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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