Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
