I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Randomize
