I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
