I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize