let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
