I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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