you would pick up someone in the library
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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