I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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