Midget sex pt 2 tonight
If that was your dad, he is hot
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
