KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
