spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
