I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
