It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
i think we sleep fucked last night...
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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