I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
you will always have a special place in my vag
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Randomize
