she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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