my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
people are starting to question the shark bite story
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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