I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
