so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
