About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize