Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
