...so i touched it.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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