I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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