Sorry, I don't speak sober.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
That reminds me...we need to get swords
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Randomize
