i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
