When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
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