Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
