just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
