Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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