I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
