her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
