i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
