Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Randomize
