My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
