Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
The air was thick with penises
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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