Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Randomize
